A Faithfulness That Escapes Me

Another summer is upon us, another school year has passed without my kids meeting Tebow. As time passes, it has become harder and harder to keep this prayer before God or at least for me it has. It also has gotten harder to encourage my students to keep praying for something when they are seeing no results, at least physical ones, forthcoming.
     Satan has been on the attack in another area of my life and it has left me questioning whether God really would answer any of my prayers, let alone one this big. Given my struggles, I have thought, more than once, that this is pointless, that God wouldn't answer my prayers because it was me, because I wasn't being good enough or faithful enough for Him to answer. If I am truly honest, there have been times I have wondered if God really meant it when He said to ask or was He just being cruel...that is how strong Satan's attacks have been.
     There have been days when I have just wanted to walk away from it all, this prayer included, but God  wouldn't let me. God and I are still sorting a lot of things out, but He keeps bringing me back to this prayer. In the middle of an argument with Him, He mentions this prayer, not convicting me over it, but just reminding me of it. No matter how much I seem to want to let it go, He won't. On my way back home from CostCo today, God brought up my prayer for Tebow. As I offered up a prayer for God's protection over him, I found myself  instead begging God to be faithful to His promise even though I have failed and failed miserably in this journey. That He be faithful even when I wasn't.  I was very struck by how faithful God is, how He will do as He promises us even though we stumble and fall. It made me wonder how He does it; if someone I had made a promise to treated me this way, I would struggle mightily with following through on that promise, but God doesn't; it's almost as if He is anxiously waiting for me to get back on track so He can work.
     For many reasons I won't explain now, this journey has suffered a major attack by Satan. Perhaps that is because we are close to an answer and Satan is trying to prevent it because he knows what a victory for God and us it will be. Perhaps it is just a season of testing of my walk with God, again, I don't know. What I do know is that I am thankful and relieved that while I often give up on Him, He doesn't give up on me and is there immediately to help when I call. As a matter of fact, when I got home and was scrolling through my MSN news feed, there was an article about Tebow which gave me some information about how I should be praying for him. He is indeed more faithful than I have a right to expect and in ways I"ll never understand this side of heaven.

Know therefore the Lord thy God, He is God, the faithful God which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love Him and keep His commandments to a thousand generations.
Deuteronomy 7:9