The Real Proving Ground

I named this blog The Proving Grounds because at the time, I thought this whole journey was about me testing or proving God to be Who He says He is. It turns out this hasn't been about me proving Him at all, it's been about Him proving me, how faithful I would be, would I really submit to His will, what would it take to stop me from believing and praying.
I wish I could say that I never grew discouraged. I wish I could say that I never wanted to quit or that I easily submitted my will to Him when it was so opposite of what I wanted. I wish I could say that every part of this prayer was prayed unselfishly, but none of it would be true if I did. Truth is, I did want to quit when it became hard to believe. Sadder still, I wanted to quit when I wasn't getting my way. It took several weeks to fully crucify my flesh over Tebow going to the Jets. There have been many days when I just wanted to go to bed rather than spend the time in prayer. There were days that I was so frustrated with God about His silence I wanted to say, "that's it, I'm done, You're not listening anyway." There were days like today when I was just so physically tired of battling Satan that I didn't think I had in it me for one more prayer. I look back over the months of this prayer and wonder how it is I am still standing here believing and praying?
The only reason I can give as why today, nearly three months later, I still had a time of prayer was because I determined way back at the beginning that the Holy Spirit would be a part of this. That He was my only access to the the will of the Father. Because I determined to be filled with the Holy Spirit and let His power flow through me. Because I chose, like Joshua in the Old Testament, to serve God. That all sounds so easy and at times it was and others not so much. So how is it I was able to follow through on those determinations? The work of the Holy Spirit in each of those determinations is why I am still here praying and choosing still to take God at His Word. When He says NOTHING is impossible; when He says where two are agreed they can ask anything and it will be done; when He says to ask in faith nothing wavering it will be done He means it. I didn't have to prove Him, He has been everything His Word said He would be.
As I yet have no response from Tebow, I know this time of proving is not over. I know that in the days and possibly weeks ahead I will have to prove anew my determination to see this through to its fulfillment; my hope today is that I have proved to God that I was and am worthy of His request of me that I ask Him to allow my kids to meet Tim Tebow.