That's Not How He Operates

"He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities." Psalm 103:10

Perhaps I am the only person who struggles with what God has been trying to teach me lately, but I suspect not. The above verse has showed up three different times in three different places in the past two days...I think maybe, it's time to stop arguing with God and start taking Him at His word.
     On more than one occasion in this journey, I have had it in my head that God will not answer this request if I am not perfectly obedient. Usually that voice is followed by another telling me that's not Who God is, that He wouldn't be that demanding or unmerciful. The first voice always comes back questioning that and pointing out all the ways I am failing. I realize that the first voice is Satan trying to discourage me; trying to get me to give up, because I'll never be perfect. I also realize the second voice, the merciful, comforting one, is the Holy Spirit, it's just that so often Satan's voice is so much louder than God's. Somehow, the loudness makes it more credible.
     As I was getting ready for church this past Sunday, I was talking with God about this request and Satan brings up a battle I have been fighting and not with consistent success. The Holy Spirit did try to speak to me, but as I said, often, Satan's voice is so much louder. The message that morning came from Psalm 103. The verse quoted above leaped off the page at me. God does not deal with us as we deserve and does not reward us based on how sinless our life is. Yes, I know this is the very thing the Holy Spirit has been trying to get through my head and I guess He finally did. Today, Psalm 103 was in my daily Bible reading, a second reminder that just because my life is not sinless doesn't mean God won't bless me. When I turned on my KLove radio ap afterwards, the verse of the day posted included the verse above. Makes me wonder who's shouting now?!
     God is very understanding of our sin nature and very compassionate about it, practically any Psalm will tell you that. God is well aware we will loose some battles with sin. He is not looking for me to live a sinless life, He's looking for me to strive for a life with less sin. God is looking for my obedience, not my perfection. God wants to bless us, He wants to answer our prayers, several Psalms say He delights in answering them. If I had to be perfect, if I had to be sinless for His answers then God would never have any joy.
     This does not give me an excuse to stop fighting the battle. If I give in to the sin and let it become a habit, God may very well withhold His answer, but just because I struggle to overcome, and sometimes fail, won't necessarily cost me an answer either because that is just not how our loving, compassionate and merciful God operates.