When God Asks...

Tonight, God has asked me to do what is perhaps the most difficult and one of the most painful things He has asked of me yet in this whole journey. He has asked me to surrender to Him the fact that He may choose to not answer this request, not just on Thursday, but at all. None of it makes sense to me, why would God be asking me this, tonight, after all that He has done, all the ways He has shown His hand and guidance to be on this prayer. My heart breaks that my kids may not meet Tebow after all. If I am being totally transparent, I desperately hope that if I can manage to do this He'll still come through and let them meet him, but then that is not really surrendering is it?
     I keep remembering back to the weeks in which God asked me to surrender to His will over Tebow not being a Bronco. It took a couple of weeks to fully get that surrendered and now God is asking me to surrender in one night. I just cannot reconcile why yesterday He was saying stand on my word and tonight He is saying surrender the answer to me. I keep trying to come up with reasons why He would be asking this, but I have none. Perhaps, that's because I have to trust Him with the answer.
     I've been thinking about Abraham and God asking him to sacrifice Isaac. I wonder if Abraham had trouble reconciling human sacrifice with a God who considered murder a sin? I wonder if he had trouble understanding why God would give him a son, only to ask him to literally sacrifice him? This wasn't who he knew God to be and yet he took Isaac to that mountain and did as God asked. How??? I know the answer is faith, but in this moment, I cannot comprehend that kind of faith.
     All Abraham knew was that God had promised him a son and from that son would come innumerable descendants and the Messiah. He trusted that God had a reason, even if he didn't know or understand what it was. I guess that is what God is asking me. I know what He has promised and while I don't understand why He would ask me to surrender the answer to this request, I have to trust that He has a plan and knows what He is doing even if I don't.
     As I finish this, the tears are subsiding. Reconciliation is coming. This is what God wants, and after all He has done for me, how can I say no? I don't know what Thursday will bring. It may bring disappointment and sorrow or it may bring great joy and relief. What I know in my head and hope to know soon in my heart, is that whichever comes, it will all be according to His plan.


For any of my sophomores reading this, this is what God has asked ME to do, not you. I can't explain why to you, but you have prayed believing God will do this for you. You have stepped out on faith and on His promises, DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR EXPECTATION THAT GOD IS GOING TO ANSWER THIS FOR YOU. There has been no mistake in what God has shown me. The evidence of His hand is overwhelming, you have seen and experienced it for yourselves. Stand on that. Stand on God's promises. I don't know why God has asked this of me, but He has. God spared Isaac. I have hope that God's answer is still yes and that He just wants me to be willing to let it be no.